Hm, well, I'm not sure why I do this to myself. The third annual Script Frenzy is about to kick off on April 1st. And for reasons I cannot articulate, I'm participating again. Despite the two previous years of crushing defeat. I also have no idea what I'm going to write, though I'd like to try my hand at a graphic novel now that they're one of the official options. I've also got the SS*BB yuri special to write for. And anthologies in June and July that I would like to get a head start on.

Did I mention the CRUSHING DEFEAT? But that doesn't seem to be stopping me. So, with resignation and not a little fear, I say to you:

Well, I've been real quiet lately, I know. But I have not been unproductive! I submitted my first story for publication.

*waits for the fanfare to die down*

Ahem. I won't get into it too much because I'm all secretive about my alter egos and because I'm superstitious enough to think I might jinx it. But suffice to say, I may, *may* have a short story in an anthology soon and actual money in my hand for it. Which means, if you ignore the math and just define pro as "gets money for words," I am a pro. Which, let me tell you, is a pretty amazing feeling.

Yep, that's right. I've got a story in Shousetsu Bang*Bang again. This time is the holiday free-for-all and my story is Push/Pull.

The consensus is that I have a whole lot of background and only offered a glimpse-- is this good or bad? you tell me-- but the truth is that I have no idea where their world came from. The first version of the opening scene was a snippet I wrote late at night in March. I have no memory of writing it. I can't remember what my original intentions, if any, might have been. I worked out scene lines for the first half of the story and started writing, which then caused me to:

1. Change everything
2. Double the length
3. Fitfully try to figure out what they were looking for
4. Club myself over the head until I could bear to write a sex scene
5. Worry again about what they were looking for
6. Stay up too late at night
7. Figure out what they were looking for
8. Find an unexpected twist buried in an earlier section
9. And finally let them find that damn thing.

Then I let my beta see it.

During this joyous sharing experience, I learned:

1. The way I have formed paragraphs and dealt with dialog for forever is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG
2. Shaolin monks can break iron bars over their heads
3. Humiliation is not a terminal condition, I just wish it was
4. I am willing to wander through life in a haze of confusion
5. But my readers are not.

Yay? Oh, beloved peachke, why are you so cruel? You have shown me the error of my ways, complemented by liberal doses of Brie and orange juice, and so I must live in shame. But don't, you know, don't stop or anything. :D

Just dropping a line to say:



Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to sleep for a week.

Forgot to mention this before the month started, but I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year. Twice. I'm going for double word count. *faints* I'm really hoping to properly finish a novel this year, not just hit the goal. So, wish me luck!



(As a word of warning, as of posting this, the widgets aren't working properly, so they show a zero count. I swear, I really have been writing!)

I'm published! Well, sort of. I have my first public story in Shousetsu Bang*Bang's Halloween-themed yuri special. The title is A Life in Six Payments and it contains the closest thing to zombies that my poor mind can cope with.

Anime Expo 2008, at the LA convention center, was my sixth year at the con and my fourth time cosplaying. I went as Macha from the .hack//G.U. video game series. Unfortunately, the group photo session for .hack had been the first day (I went the second), so I guess I missed everyone else. I only saw one Azure Kite on Friday, so it was pretty .hack-lacking. The con itself was nicer than last year, when we were at Long Beach. I was a little late, but check-in was a BREEZE! I couldn't really enjoy it, thanks to my costume, but more on that later. The food was better too. Still expensive con food, but definitely the best they've managed so far. The convention center was kind of wonky though. We had to walk quite a ways and up and down flights of stairs to get from the exhibitor hall and art rooms to the live programming areas for panels. Zombie puppy here still can't find her feet-- I think I left them in a hallway sometime around five and forgot to pick them up. Ow. One of my three panels got canceled, but the other two were pretty nice. It wasn't a busy day this year, which was kind of disappointing.

Okay, but here's the important part. I got to do the "ten feet, photo" walk! As in, every ten feet, someone wanted to get my photo. I hadn't even made it to the check in room before people were asking for photos. My costume (which needed a few adjustments) was falling apart around me, but by god, I was getting my picture taken! Things settled down later in the day, but the first hour or so in the exhibit hall was madness. Any time I stopped to look at merchandise, three people would take the opportunity to descend on my with cell phones and cameras. I made no progress. It was WONDERFUL. And the best part is that no one actually knew who my character was. How is this a good thing, you may well ask. To my thinking, this was a lot better than people being like, oh, look another Naruto, let's get pictures of all the Narutos here (nothing against Naruto, of course). They wanted my picture strictly because my costume was goddamn freaking brilliant.

Here's the thing with my costume. I tried to wear the mask all the time I was walking to registration, which was a mistake. It got SO HOT in that and I could barely see anything. Plus, some of the pieces, like the eye decorations and the hip shields, kept slipping or falling off entirely. Once we got checked in, I had to spend a few minutes making repairs to everything and revamping my plan for keeping myself together. Also, I discovered the joy of wearing the mask at the side of my face while walking around-- suddenly able to breathe AND wear my glasses. Truth is, despite the hassle, the head dress and mask really made it, though I also was totally pleased with the skirt petals. These were finished at six something the morning of, after my mom and I had gotten a couple hours of sleep, having finally collapsed after an entire night of more sewing and about four days before that of still more costume work. I was sad that my mechanized hand idea didn't work out and I didn't even end up wearing the other set of gloves I made because I was going to have claustrophobic panic attacks if I couldn't use my fingers any longer. But I was still really happy with it and the response made the whole day and my crippled feet today completely worth it.

Also, I have been thoroughly shopped out-- I'm a happy thing.

Check out my gallery of pics, these ones from before I left for the con.

I'm taking a little helpful advice from Holly Lisle and not talking about my current project. Normally, I bounce ideas off my mom (my official cork board of writing goodness) and flesh out my whole world before writing anything. Unfortunately, we pretty much stop at that point. The story feels finished in my head and I can't remember any of the passion I once felt.

Not this time. I'm not talking about it and I'm not going to plan a hell of a lot either. I have my set up, I have my landing pad. I'm ready to write. I'll work out culture and language issues as I go-- maybe a little sooner, since none of my characters have names-- but I'm not going to plan a single scene ahead of time. It's fly by the seat of my pants joy and I am actually getting butterflies thinking about it. Which is a good thing. Because it's been years since I felt this kind of raw hunger, this gut-twisting, I'm-about-to-be-kissed type lust, for anything, least of all my writing. I've missed the sense of adventure. I've been so wrapped up in feeling safe in my life, I killed the explorer in me. Let's see if I can meet up with her again.

Just a little test to make sure this is working nicely. Hope to post real content soon.